I looked at you lying so close to me, and I felt my heart ached. A tear fell from my eye. I want to pounce on you and take you in my arms and hold you so tight and never let you go. I want to absorb you in my system and let you dwell in me so you will always be with me.

I looked at my life, and how it changed because of you. How it began to have meaning because of you. Oh, how I love you so much, oh, how you complete me, my Shui. If am not in love with you, I don’t know what this is then. If my heart is lying to me, I hope it won’t tell me the truth anymore, I wouldn’t know if I can accept it, if the truth is not you.

“Yuki.” The brat whispered in his sleep, turned to face me and sleepily reach out to me. My tears flowed like rain. I never thought it could be possible to love someone this much. If he loves me, I love him more. More than words can say, more than actions can show. If only am capable of eloquence to voice out my thoughts, if only am graceful enough to convey my feelings with loving touches and warm kisses. I won’t be just a novelist who is good with words but I would be the greatest lover of all times. But when it comes to Shui, I’m lost for words, I’m awkward, and most of the time, I put my foot in my mouth or fall flat on my face and say all the wrong things and do the most wrong moves.

I sighed…touching my chest, hoping the ache would go away. I could hardly breathe with so much love for this boy beside me. Sometimes I think I would go crazy with so much emotions I have for him. Oh, how I love you so, my Shui. My one and only Shui.

I laid back down on the bed, and automatically like a choreography, you snuggled close and put your arms around me. And without you knowing, I melted in your arms, all my defenses down, all my emotions showed. I love you, I love you! I held you so close, and kiss your lips so earnestly, I hope this way you would know how much to me, I hope this way would show how much you are the very meaning of my life.

The brat woke up with a start as he felt my lips on his, “Yuki?” he asked, sleepily.

“Make love to me, brat, I need you.” I said, softly, looking at him with still wet tears on my face. Shuichi didn’t know if it’s the intoxication or a nightmare that made Yuki sound this way, but it never mattered to him, just as long as Yuki wants him, he would do anything for him. The brat rose and laid on top of the older man, and began kissing him ever so gently. And Yuki closed his eyes, and groaned, his heart beating so fast, he couldn’t breathe. He was panting.

“Are you okay, Yuki?” Shuichi asked when he felt the novelist stiffened underneath him.

Yuki hugged him tight, “Yes, I am now. Because you are here.” Yuki said, and that made Shuichi’s heart melt. And the two made love like they never made love before, with so much tenderness, with so much emotions, that night, Yuki is in his true form, uninhibited, all Eiri, just Eiri. He doesn’t need words, Shuichi heard his unspoken words through his kisses, through his touches. He also knew that the older man is sober and he is finally showing him how much he cared for him. All those scrapbooks, all those DVDs, all those CDs, its all Yuki’s doing. And here he is now, showing to him how much he really meant to the novelist. If tonight was dream, Shuichi wished he would never wake up. If tonight is real, Yuki wished it would never end.