"I found it, I found the shoes!"  Hyde shouted, gleefully, holding it up, searching every nook and cranny of the city trying to look for an old pair of black shoes.  I got worried when he disappeared, all because of one stupid shoes, worn out and beaten.  What would the fans say, here the popular vocalist rummaging through garbage bins and scraps trying to find one old pair of black shoes?

"You can buy a new one, hell, you can buy tons of the same brand and color if you want to, Hyde, why this pair?" Megumi asked, exasperated, looking at her husband, dirty, shabby and looked worn out from all the running around bare-footed, rummaging in every trash he could find all around the city, looking for an old pair of black shoes.

Hyde looked at her and showed her the black pair of high-cut rubber shoes.  "I know now what true love is." he said, simply.

She often wonder where that pair came from.  All she remembered was he was coming home from his taping with a grin and wearing an old black shoes she never seen before.  When  she asked what's wrong or if he's hungry, all he did was leaned over and gave her the best kiss they have ever had since they've known each other.

Hyde met him for the first time on the set of Moonchild.  He was awed by his beauty.  He never realized he would admire another man this way.  Not when he met Gackt.  Not when he saw how beautiful he was.

Could it be possible that the attraction was mutual?  There's a certain gleam in Gackt's eyes everytime their eyes meet.  How Gackt's hand would linger a few seconds or a minute longer everytime they shake hands.  Or Gackt would manage to get in contact with Hyde with every possible way.

Hyde wondered about that.  If he is turning gay.  He held his wife much tighter at night, make love to her more passionately than the last time they came in contact with each other.  Using sex with Megumi to purify what is eating his entire being.

There was even a moment he even begged to be taken out of the movie.  But sound judgment ruled and he stayed on.  Hyde decided to to talk to Gackt and settle everything that's left undone...unsaid.

When Hyde saw Gackt  walking up to him with that smile on his face.  He lost all reasons.  He's a God, panic struck him and he decided to run away.  Gackt run after him and grabbed his arm.  Gackt didn't say anything, he just pushed Hyde on the corner and plunged his face with a deep, sweet kiss.  Hyde didn't have a chance to protest.  He melted into the kiss, reasoning forgotten, senses clouded, he was in a dream.  Dazed and delirious with this wonderful man making his insides go haywire.  It only took a couple of minutes...the kiss deepened and made him feel warm and tingling inside.  When Gackt lifted his head, Hyde had to hold on to him or he would collapse on his feet.  He lost his feelings on them, his legs feels like silly putty, he would buckle if he tries to stand on his own.

"Ohayo, Haido chan!" Gackt greeted in a voice that sounded like love.  How could he just stand there and pretend he just didn't kiss his co-star?  Hyde thought, the only sensible thing he has on his mind right now.

Hyde went back to his senses when he saw the black shoes that Gackt was shoving right in front of his face.

"Haido chan, use this old pair for the next scene, this is my lucky pair, I want you to have it for luck." Gackt said, and waited when Hyde mutely put on the old pair.  When Hyde stood up to say thank you, Gackt kissed him again.  This time, Hyde prostested, pulling away, and gasping for air, his face all red and warm, "Gacchan, I'm married and I don't do men.  Please don't do that again." Hyde said, looking down, not trusting his eyes for fear that Gackt might see the truth in them.

"Okay." Gackt said, slowly moved away, and walked out.  Leaving Hyde holding his own pair of shoes, and looking at his retreating back.

Hyde didn't know what to make of their relationship.  He tried to avoid every opportunity to be alone with him.  But the movie is pushing them closer and closer together.

Megumi thought her husband is acting strange lately.  But still she vanished the thought away, because she knew he is still the same way despite of the strangeness he had been.

Hyde was here.  He couldn't believe he would be here, in Gackt's apartment.
Hyde blink out of the blood haze of pain and first saw him, He saw something than hurt for the first since losing Megumi.  It was his first time back to reality, not quite a return to humanity, but a glimpse, fleeting and unreal, of a life  he had lived once.  Before he wallowed and bathed in hurt.

His hair brushed his face, a reminder, a link to who he really was. This may be an ordinary bed in an ordinary room, but this man was not ordinary. His smile might be generous and warm; his voice might be friendly and reassuring but his hair and eyes bound him to his true nature, to what he had become. If not for the blond silk of his hair, he would have thought he was in a dream.  He lost Megumi because of this man, and with everything about this man is a reminder of what he had done to the woman he loves.  It kept the guilt fresh and alive, and made him suffer. He truly wanted to suffer. To let the suffering go would be to forgive, and Megumi would never, ever forgive.

He was grateful to Gackt, not saving his life, but giving him the time he needed to find Megumi, and die at her side. That was all his future held.
Gackt never, ever judged him.
 
Hyde learned to control his nightmares, to let them play in his mind without troubling his conscious self.  He fed off them, using the echoes of remembered pain to fuel his recovery, in order to die at Megumi's side.  He don't know what happened that one night, except that it was raining, that he fell asleep thinking about Gackt, and how he move like water, effortless and graceful, and how he wanted to know more about him, and was sad that he didn't have the time to find out.

He tried to win her back, tried to explain that what she saw was a mistake, that he loves her and not Gackt but she wouldn't listen, he tried running after her but she was long gone before he could catch up with her.  He was walking aimlessly, for hours on end, didn't know where he was going, all he knew he needs to be there.  He must have passed out from hunger and pain, a hollow emptiness surrounding his being.

Hyde woke up in terror, gut-deep fear that tore at his breath and made him scream and writhe to escape his own sordid, agonized skin.  All of sudden, there were arms around him, soft words being whispered in his ears. There were kisses. Gackt was warm and soft, he cared for him.  Hyde didn't think anyone would care for him again. "I want to make love to you," Hyde said.  He was shaking. Terrified and hungry and desperate and waiting for him to say no, but he didn't. "Make love?" Gackt said, as if he couldn't believe his ears.  Hyde thought for a moment  he'd read the signs wrong, until he looked into his eyes and saw the passion there. Gackt really did want him.

But at the same time it was obvious he'd been with a man before, and he looked to Hyde as if  Gackt knew what he was doing.  But Gackt was as honest and open and willing as he always is. Gackt didn't flinch or hold back, he was generous and kind with his body as he'd been with the rest of himself.  Hyde loved him, as much as he was capable of then. Gackt showed him the ordinary life he'd lost, blended with a pain he shared. Without Gackt, what interest would he have in remaining in this world, in redemption and a second chance?

Megumi is a memory now, when she filed for divorce, Hyde decided to let her free, from the pain he had caused her.  And he wallowed in his own pain of losing someone he cared for more than his life.  He had made a choice when he allowed Gackt in his system, now this is his world, there is no turning back.  When he awakened from a long sleep, there was no question in his mind as to who he wanted to share it with.  Some people might see what they have as a friendship, of sorts, or a love affair.  Hyde suppose it is both those things.
But more than that, to Hyde it is a binding stronger than life itself. And it will last forever.